Dexterity Solutions

The world is rapidly changing, the old structures are collapsing and new ones being built.  Take a look at what happens when Being elements are introduced into a traditionally Doing focussed world.

What can be observed in a Doing and Being world (not always, and not all extremes, of course)

Which side would YOU choose?

When you were little, how many times were we told, or have since told our own children, “You need to be seen and not heard”?

What does that mean?

Is what we are saying more about them or about ourselves?

Is our child just making a noise, verbally expressing itself or developing their newfound talking skills?  Or is it that we feel embarrassed and are worried about what people may be thinking of us as parents, is not controlling our children, and keeping them from making a noise?

I feel it is part of a behaviour that we have learned from our parents, which is that to fit in we have to keep quiet, not ask questions, not disturb other people, and to always play small.

As we get older, this can manifest in our fear of asking the first question, asking for help, saying we do not understand and not standing up for what we believe.

Through listening to one another we can begin to break this fear based pattern of behaviour.

It is only when we begin to question what we say that we realise this is not helpful to our children or to any of us.  As much as we all wish to love and to be loved, we also all wish to be heard and seen.

I recently watched the compelling series about Brain Doctors, set in the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford.  The star, although he would not agree, is the Paediatric neurosurgeon Jay Jayamohan.  Jay goes about his work with the skill and competence you would expect from someone with his experience and obvious expertise.  What struck me most of all though was his ability to easily and naturally connect with his patients and their families.  He does this by truly listening and being empathic with them, but above all seeing them as fellow human beings on their journey.

The Dalai Lama, said during his recent tour, and on the upcoming film Road to Peace, “That this century should be the century of dialogue”.  I feel the more we listen, understand, empathise and connect, that we build trust.  Be that with a loved one, within our business and with our customers and suppliers, and with those that we come into contact every day.

We are great at talking, in fact, some have made a career out of it, but how many of us are great or even good at listening.  I don’t mean hearing the words someone says, but true deep listening.  Listening without judgement and putting aside our own prejudices, but by being present and really seeing that person.

Recall those times when you felt truly heard, truly seen, and how you felt safe enough in their presence to allow what needed to be said to do so.  Remember how reassuring and supportive it felt……

Next time you have the opportunity to listen to someone, turn off any distractions, i.e. mobile, television, etc., turn to face them, look into their eyes, suspend your need to provide an answer or a reply and just let them speak.  Listen to what they are saying and begin to feel it.  Your reply or response could well come from your heart this time and not your head, and may not be what you would normally have said, but they will go away feeling seen and heard.

• MPs expenses scandal.
• Judge rejects Libor rate-rigging anonymity bid.
• Horsemeat found in beef products.
• Police accused of changing evidence.

Rarely a day goes by without a person, company or a group making the headlines for immoral, unethical or self-centred behaviour.

The question being asked by more and more people is “Who can we trust?”

I have noticed this trend growing.  At first, it was the odd occasion and it came as a surprise.  Then one or two more made the headlines and we started to question.  Now people are starting to question everyone and a culture of mistrust of everyone is growing.

Antony Jenkins Barclays new Chief Executive once said, “Performance assessment will be based not just on what we deliver but on how we deliver it. We must never again be in a position of rewarding people for making the bank money in a way which is unethical or inconsistent with our values,”.  So a global organisation coming out in favour of ‘being’ over ‘doing’.  My only question being what is his intention?  Is it just a PR exercise to try and turn the reputation of the Bank or is he genuine in what he is saying?…..only time will tell.

Will we see more examples?

I believe that the internet is the ‘game changer’ in many positive ways, and it may well be the vehicle for engendering transparency, openness and honesty to become the norm rather than the unusual.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”  Margaret Mead

Have we reached the tipping point?  Have we come to the point where a large number of people will rise up and say enough is enough?

 “If not us, who?  If not now, when?”  John Kennedy

I have much to be blessed for in my life, people, events, moments and more.  One such moment happened yesterday on the train home from Paddington.

Sitting across the aisle from me was a pretty little girl of around three or four.  You know the type, hair all over the place, big eyes looking everywhere and at everything, legs that dangle over the edge of the seat.  She was with her Father.

Apart from the fact she was noticing everything, what alerted me to her was that she was blowing kisses, not to anyone, just blowing them.  She was also chattering to her Father about her stuff.

When the woman opposite her was talking on her mobile, she was desperate to know what she was talking about, and her Father did his best to keep her quiet.

She looked at me and smiled with those big dark eyes.  What do I do, my heart said smile back, as that is the most natural thing to do, so I chose to smile.  We smiled many times during the journey, as did her Father and I.  As I left the train, she smiled again, waved and said, Bye.  I returned the smile and the wave and told her Father what a lovely daughter he has.  Her smile is still with me today.

How different it could have been.  I could have had my head in a work project, worrying about some future event.  I could have ignored her smile and made her feel wrong.  I could have given the ‘look’ to her Father, enough to say, “Can’t you keep her quiet”.  He may have been embarrassed and then tried to keep his daughter still and quiet.  How many times do we do that?  To our children, to other people?  By my being that way I would have missed the gift that she was giving me.

When does that little girl finally get conditioned to stop smiling at other people because she does not get a smile back from them, or when others tell her not to smile at strangers.

After all, it is said that a stranger is only a friend we have not met.

If enough of us smiled at each other, maybe little ones may continue smiling until they are old enough to make their own choice as to whom they smile.

Having just watched a couple of videos by Sue Stockdale (she skied to the magnetic North Pole), I was able to draw a number of conclusions that make sense to me and where I am with my life.

Sue talks about having the goal defined, i.e. the magnetic North Pole.  However, the reality is that at this point, or destination, there is nothing there, no pole, no ‘finish line’ nothing or no thing.  How true is that for us and our goals and destinations?  Yes, there might be a celebration, but in most cases, once that has been completed we move on to our next goal or destination.  A bit like a road show, moving from city to city.

Yet people often talk about the joy of being on the journey, i.e. ‘Smell the flowers’.  Be present or, ‘in the moment’ as much of the time as you can be.  They say the past causes depression, the future anxiety and so on.  The downside of just being on the journey is that you may never get anywhere, a great time but what was achieved.  Some may even argue, so what, I am enjoying the journey.

A goal is to provide you with a direction and a focus, with a recognition that nothing will be there when you get there, be determined without being attached to it, i.e. that over time you may choose to change it.  Having this in mind will get you up in the morning and will (at a quantum level) attract those ‘things’ that you need in order to get you to your destination.  Once you have this in place, you can relax and focus on experiencing and enjoying your journey.  It also enables you to remain open to all the possibilities.

One could say that the destination is at the subconscious level (chugging along in the background) and the journey is at the conscious level (you are making conscious choices to notice and appreciate what you are sensing, i.e. sights, sounds, tastes, feelings, emotions, etc.).

Maybe an answer lies in us having them both?

One of the most obvious and noticeable observations on returning home after a holiday, is the frenetic pace of life most people lead.

This is never more so apparent than in the workplace. No one seems to have any time any more to stop and think. Everyone gives the impression of moving at breakneck speed just to keep up – or in some cases, just to stand still.

Perhaps this is why I’ve been having rather too many conversations with stressed and burnt-out professionals who just can’t see the wood for the trees. Whether it’s a case of not enough hours in the day, or just too much to do, the theme and the sentiment are often one and the same.

So, just imagine the reaction when I suggest to them that the solution to their dilemma is to take 15 minutes each day for themselves.

Fifteen minutes a day. That’s a massive 900 seconds. The average individual, if asked, will be able to hold their breath for approximately 30 seconds at a time; and that often will feel like a lifetime to them, as they gasp and struggle for air afterwards. Now imagine repeating the same exercise 30 times consecutively. It’s almost inconceivable.

And yet, the predictable responses from those I’ve asked to take 15 minutes of contemplative time each day have ranged from the ridiculous to the absurd.

Now consider for a moment what 15 minutes a day actually represents.

Given an average day (and no one works an average day these days), of eight hours; that’s a whopping 480 minutes. 15 minutes only represents a lowly 3.125% of the working day. An office survey conducted by Microsoft for the Leading Edge Alliance found that workers spent an average of 5.6 hours a week in meetings; and from the same sample, seven out of 10 felt that these meetings were mostly unproductive.

So, how do these same people rationalise spending 336 minutes a week of relatively unproductive time in meetings, versus 75 minutes of valuable and productive re-charge time on themselves ?

The simple answer is that they can’t; so they don’t. Even though employment legislation requires individuals to take a lunch break, many choose not to, simply because of the pressure of their work.

So it’s a real struggle to persuade people to set aside 15 minutes of downtime for themselves. This downtime, or ‘self time’, as I call it, is just not considered important enough by most, as they absorb themselves in their tasks of the day.

However, 15 minutes of time dedicated exclusively to oneself is surprisingly refreshing and relaxing. It is in essence, a quarter of an hour of meditation within the maelstrom of the work environment.

It reinvigorates the soul and regenerates enthusiasm and energy. It’s the blink of an eye in a long days’ work, and a lifetime when it’s yours to do with as you will.

Whether it’s listening to music, reading a book, going for a walk or simply daydreaming and staring out of a window. Choosing what to do with one’s 15 minutes each day becomes an ever increasing and enjoyable challenge. One which, with practice, becomes as anticipated and valued as the completion of tasks and assignments which preoccupy most the working day.

©Charles Helliwell, Business Personality Audits, 2012

Like it or not, your organisation along with the vast majority, is not and never will be, incentivised to take employee engagement seriously. There are a couple of reasons for this; the first being that it will take too much time and effort and the second that it’s probably a low priority compared to everything else you have to deal with. OK, so you might fiddle around at the edges and create an impression of employee engagement, but that’s about it. All in all, it’s going to be a whole lot easier to just upsize and downsize with market forces and focus all your time and investment in retaining and developing the top 20%, whilst discarding those you consider to be poor performers. That’s NOT employee engagement. It goes by various names from executive development to staff assessments.

It’s a process which is mostly subjective and hardly, if ever, objective.

Real employee engagement starts with the recognition that your workforce stands on a tightrope between being viewed as an asset or as a liability. The employee at 3M who invented Post-It Notes, might, for example, be referred to as an asset; whilst staff at British Airways being asked to take a pay holiday and pay cut, might be considered as a liability by their senior management. Every organisation faces a delicate balance in how its workforce is viewed.

The hard work is not what organisations choose to do about employee engagement. The hard work starts by recognising that every employee you hire is a potential asset. It starts with a fundamental change in organisational behavioural attitudes from those who run these organisations. If you, as a business owner or business manager, truly believe that every employee is an asset to your organisation, then that’s how you will see them and behave towards them. That change in behaviour and attitude will then reap its own reward, as employees will want to give back more than just ‘their jobsworth’.

This simple change in attitude towards your staff and colleagues, coupled with an understanding that trust, respect and recognition and appreciation is a two-way mirror. If you expect your employees to trust, respect, recognise and appreciate you for the leadership and direction that you provide, then you must pay them the same compliment by return. There’s nothing more complicated to it than that.

Getting the most out of your people is not just a case of fitting the right peg into the right hole. Shaping a round peg from a block of wood, just so that it fits snugly into a round hole discards the potential from what remains. Smart employers and business owners such as John Timpson, recognise that limitation, and ensure that the full potential of all the original material in every employee is used to maximum. They have to, because in the world of competitive business, you just can’t afford the luxury of employee potential, just waiting to be discovered.

©Charles Helliwell, Business Personality Audits, 2012

When doom, gloom and despondency reigns, organisations always seem to fall back on the inevitable response to make cuts. No surprise here. Thus the growing number of stories we’re all hearing about staff cuts, budget cuts and training and development cuts.

And yet, at the same time there is currently an astounding growth in job advertising for ‘business development’ executives in all shapes and sizes. It’s a stereotypical and oh-so predictable response to the tough times that lie ahead.

During my last 20+ years as a coach and mentor, I’ve experienced three or four cycles of ups and downs. And in each of them, employers have done their bit to boost the recruitment industry in a vain and often meaningless search for these magical business development geniuses with the Midas touch, who will single-handedly transform a struggling business into a successful one.

But why do organisations fall back on the same pattern every time there’s a downturn? For the same reason that we play the lottery, I guess. If you don’t buy a ticket, you can’t possibly win.

But just like the lottery, the chances of landing a winning ticket are pretty slim, too. Not that this is going to stop millions buying tickets or employers thinking that as long as there’s a chance, it’s worth the gamble, however slim the chances of success.

Let’s face it, business development is not for the faint-hearted. It’s a clear and definable skill which has its roots firmly planted in one-to-one relationship building. Yet, so misunderstood is it and so misaligned has it become over the years, that the role has become synonymous with something which sits in a twilight zone between sales and marketing.

Often it requires an incumbent to make repeated and unsolicited calls to leads and potential customers – the ultimate door-knocker, if you will. Alternatively, businesses which err towards a marketing bent often swamp leads or potential customers with so much useless and confusing collateral, that they barely know what it is they are being asked to consider.

Both approaches towards business development are about as useless as baling water out of the Titanic with a saucepan.

So, is there a better way ?

Yes, there is, and it’s one which is guaranteed to give every business the best possible chance of surviving and beating a downturn.

Firstly, recognise that business development is a clearly defined skill, with purpose, clarity and definition. Secondly, view it as a long-term sustainable investment, which, over time, will deliver a steady and ever-improving return.

Recruit and develop people who are the most natural and gifted relationship-builders – from whatever background – and set them to work on forging long-term ‘trusted partner’ status with your key existing and target potential clients.

Give them the freedom to operate outside restrictive targets and work practices and reward them on their skill and ability in maintaining an ongoing dialogue with their clients.

It’s this dialogue which is key to sustainability and which, ultimately, propels them and the business into trusted partner status.

The most successful business developers don’t actually sell anything; they don’t need to, because their clients are only too happy to buy from them, as and when the opportunity arises. And what’s even better, is that they continue to buy, again and again and again.

Just as long as there’s trust, there will always be a return. It may not be immediate and it may not scoop the jackpot, but it will be consistent and reliable.

What value this level of consistency and reliability in the current economic climate? However, just like any solid and worthwhile investment, it requires time, patience and good judgement, which might well be a better bet than a weekly punt on the lottery.

©Charles Helliwell, Business Personality Audits, 2012

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